Restless teenager: how to deal with him?

Adolescence – like a storm after a lull. The mood of the teenager is as changeable as the two -year -old child. However, his tantrums look more frightening, and he can do much more harm to himself and others. Psychotherapist Lisa Marciano tells how to cope with your restless teenager.

When I work with the parents of adolescents, I always remember the ancient Scottish fairy tale about a woman who meets a mysterious man named Lin at night in the forest and gets pregnant from him. There Lin is captured by the fairies who are going to sacrifice him to the forces of hell.

To save a friend, the woman must throw him off the horse when he passes by her on Halloween night. Then she will have to hold it tightly while he first turns into a lion, then into a huge snake, then into a raging flame and, finally, in a scaly dragon. If she can keep him during all these frightening transformations, she will free him from the spell.

Ancient fairy tale is a good metaphor. This is how we should approach communication with any person who is overcome by uncontrolled emotions, whether it is our child, partner or we ourselves. Let’s look at the basic principles

Han er i en stol eller pa en stol, og du har sadoneret ham, sidder ud for ham – eller mere pracist bryster. I denne stilling vil det let blive viagra generisk af sproget for dine skonheder. Brug en brystvorte pa hans laber. Lad det slikke eller sutte dit bryst, mens du bevager sig langsomt op og ned. Hvis brystet er ret smukt, sa du selv kan na sine laber – vis ham, hvordan du gor det. De fleste af drengene vil vare i ekstase fra dette show.


Do not react

The heroine of the fairy tale needs to keep Lina there tightly, no matter what happens. She should not be afraid of his terrifying transformations.

When our teenager seems to turn into another person and his behavior inspires serious fears (he screams, claps with doors, throws things), it is best to maintain calm and balance. Yes, at such moments it is difficult to restrain your own anger or fear, but if we manage to do this, we will help the teenager focus on himself, and not to worry about our uncontrolled emotions.

It’s not about you

Suppose your child who always studied well has become gloomy in adolescence, went into his senses and abandoned his classes. The estimates have become worse. Surely you are very worried about this situation and anxiety torments you, but it will be better if you do not demonstrate these feelings to the child.

This does not mean that you need to be silent. It is worth making it clear that if he does not take up the mind, this will lead to the corresponding consequences. This is certainly important. But your suffering about the fact that he will not go to a prestigious university, it is your. Когда ребенок проходит через бурные перемены подросткового возраста, не стоит взваливать на него ответственность за ваши переживания – он и со своими едва справляется.

Demonstrate calm and confidence

When a teenager is rampant, he does not control himself. Keeping calm and confidence, we thereby let him know: no matter what happens, we can rely on us. So the teenager gets the opportunity to throw out his emotions without negative consequences in a safe environment, calm down and become himself again – as if there is a lin from a fairy tale. Providing a safe space for “riot”, we help the teenager learn the most important life skill – the ability to control his emotions.

To help children cope with their experiences, we ourselves must be able to do it. This is not easy, especially when we live in the same house with adolescents who behave like crazy. If the parents themselves torment the alarm, restraining emotions can be especially difficult. Remember that, maintaining calm and confidence, we help to achieve the same children.






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